I was reading this blog regarding interfering relatives and it got me to thinking. Why do people who don’t live with you, don’t deal with your daily stresses, and don’t have an intimate knowledge of your child’s medical background seem to think they know better than you how a situation should be handled?
My 9-year old son has ADHD. He was diagnosed over 3 years ago. He takes medication and, yes, it helps him immensely. The decision to medicate him wasn’t taken lightly but only after consultation with his doctor, a psychiatrist, and his teachers. Once I told my mother that we were going to be giving my son medication, her response was “I hope you received medical advice before doing that”. Uh, hello? The medication is by prescription only. How the heck do you think I got it for him?
Since starting the medication, my son’s behavior has drastically improved. He is doing better in school and is building friendships. I still get grief from my mom. But as one of my friends put it, “would your mother want you to stop medicating him if he had diabetes or cancer”? The answer is no, but my mom doesn’t see ADHD as a disease, she sees it as bad parenting.
Of course, my mother’s criticism of me didn’t start with my son. She’s been critical since I can remember. But this isn’t about her relationship with me, it’s about what is doing best for my child. I struggle to tune out unsolicited advice. It’s for me, my son, and his doctor, to make the responsible, appropriate choices regarding his treatment. The rest of the world can butt out!
